Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Auction Acronyms - What do they really mean

Have you ever wondered what all those auction acronyms really mean? Well, I've been buying and selling online through a number of known auction and listing sites for several years. I only recently found this humorous listing of "auction acronyms." Please note that this list has descriptions that are "tongue-in-cheek" i.e., not necessarily the true descriptions!

It was actually quite timely as, being a seasoned buyer, I got "stung" by a seller who claimed an item was "NWOT" ... which in the real world means "new without tags." She also claimed the item was perfect for a "valentine's day gift" and that it had "no marks, tears, or wear" whatsoever. Stay tuned to read another blog post when I tell you more about this item.

OK, now for the auction acronyms ... I'm not sure who to give credit to for being the original source of this list. If I find out who put this together, I'll list the source. Or, if you know who we can thank, please let me know.

AS IS = Broken, I do not give refunds and I am quick to leave negatives.
ADORABLE = Ugly.
ACTUAL SHIPPING CHARGES = A profit center and has nothing to do with actual cost to ship. You should have asked for amount before bidding. See S&H.
ALL SALES FINAL = A damaged fake item.
AUTHENTIC = This is a real replica. 500% real!
BEAUTIFUL = Ugly in a scary way.
BIN = Buy It Now... payment by worthless check received 6 weeks after the auction ends.
BNIB = Brand New In Box... only used once.
BONUS = Something extra...a real bad feeling you get when you see what you bought.
BRAND NEW = A new counterfeit copy.
BRILLIANT SHINE = What I just gave it with my buffer (to make it near mint).
BUA = Butt-Ugly Auction.
BUTT-UGLY = Suddenly a hot marketing term. People SEARCH for items using this term or BUA.
CHANEL = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
CHEAP! = In more ways other than price.
CIVIL WAR = Made in India last week. (India is having a civil war...right?).
CLEAN PER RULES = I wore these panties on a 10 mile bike ride.
COA = Certificate of Authenticity... yep it authentic, I signed the item and typed the certificate myself.
COACH HANDBAG = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.COLLECTIBLE = I have WAY too many of these.
COLORFUL = Unknown stains.
COMBINED SHIPPING = If you are the high bidder on more than one of my auctions I will total up all the shipping charges for you. A discount on S&H is implied but NOT offered.
CONTEMPORARY = Got it at a 99 cents store. Email me if you want more than one.
CUSTOM = So ugly there's only one in the world.
CUTE = Crap.D&G = Fake Dolce & Gabbana handbag, I never said if it was real or not.
DESIGNER = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
DESIGNER INSPIRED = Fake Designer Item.
DIRTY = Dirt hiding a crack.
DISPLAYS WELL = 3 sides are damaged.
DIY = Do It Yourself.... or Delivered Item Yesterday.
DON'T MISS THIS ONE! = I'm really tired of listing this, somebody buy it!
DOONEY & BOURKE = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
DUTCH AUCTION = $10,000 hammers for beating dead horses.
BONUS = Something extra... a real bad feeling you get when you see what you bought.
ELEGANT = Old and worthless.
EUC = Excellent Used Condition, but smells of smoke, covered with dog hair and not stained too bad.
FACTORY ORIGINAL = It originally came from a factory.
FABULOUS = Absolutely stinks of smoke.
FANTASTIC = Unbelievably ugly.
FAUX = Exquisite fake.
FENDI = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.FINE = Paint covers flaws, parts taped in place.
FLAWLESS = Less flaws.
FREE SHIPPING = Once you pay for this information or item, I will never send it.
FROM A NON SMOKING HOME = Covered with cat hair.
GBP = Great Big Pennies... English money.
GENTLY USED = It's on its last legs.
GENUINE = It is 100% real imitation, not a fake one.
GOOD CONDITION = The dents hide the scratches.
GORGEOUS = Really ugly.
GREAT CONDITION = The scratches hid the dents.
GREAT CONDITION FOR SOMETHING THIS OLD = (see PRIMITIVE).
GUCCI = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.HANDBAG = FAKE.
HCTS = Here Comes The Stork... baby items with stork stains.
HTF = Hard to Find ... Will be lost in mail after you pay for it.
VHTF = Very Hard to Find. It will never be sent after you pay for it.
HOT = 1. Stolen... maybe I'll send it to you, maybe I won't.
HOT = 2. From a smoker's home complete with cigarette burns.
I WAS TOLD THAT THIS IS... = No one bought this when I said what it REALLY was.
IS AS = Item IS AS Pictured and is sold AS IS. Not responsible for compatibility issues or support of this item. All Sales Are Final. NO REFUNDS!
JUICY COUTURE = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
L@@K = This item has no good qualities that would otherwise make you want to check it out.
KATE SPADE = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
LE = Limited Edition... This is my last one, so it must be limited.
LIKE NEW = 1. It's got a couple of pretty deep scratches but I've still got the box.
LIKE NEW = 2. I would "LIKE" to think it is "NEW"... but I know it's not.
LIKE NEW = 3. Used and has a few stains.
LOVELY = Tacky, like a Day Glow black velvet painting of Elvis playing poker with dogs.
LV = Louis Vuitton, also see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
LV = FAKE.LOUIS VUITTON = 1. Counterfeit Louis Vuitton.
LOUIS VUITTON = 2. Real or fake, you will never receive this item after paying by money order.
LOUIE VITOON = Counterfeit Louis Vuitton and I am quick to leave negatives.
MIB = 1. Mint In Box, but just a little broken.
MIB = 2. Mashed In Box.
MINT = 1. A green color, but it also might be mold.
MINT = 2. Meticulously cleaned.
99% MINT = Meticulously cleaned and almost not broken too much.
NEAR MINT = 1. Cleaned even harder and it broke and is a part is now missing.
NEAR MINT = 2. A smell from being stored next to candy canes.
MINTY = Cleaned with tooth paste.
MODERN = From the late 1980's to mid 90's.
MONT BLANC = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.MUST HAVE! = Must have it out of my house.
MUST C = Lord knows the description won't pull you in without this added.
NEAT = Could use a good cleaning.
NEVER USED CONDITION = Not new.
NEW-NEVER WORN = I got it at a second-hand store, but "I" never wore it.
NEW = 1. Used only a few times.
NEW = 2. I just got it, so it is "new" to me.
NEW = 3. It is not too old to be called old.
NIB = 1. New In Box. Used and not the original box.
NIB = 2. Now It’s Broken.
NIB = 3. Nothing In Box.
NICE = I'm keeping the good one, and getting rid of this piece of junk.
SUPER NICE = I should be whipped for putting this junk up for bids.
NO MOLD OR MILDEW = Not sure what the stains and smell are from.
NO REFUNDS = You are lucky if I send you anything. I will neg you if you complain.
NOS = Nasty Old Stuff.
NOT FAKE = 200% Not real...
FAKE.NOT SURE IF IT WORKS = I know for a fact that IT does NOT work. See "AS IS".
NPB = No Paying Bast**d! I edited this--no profanity in my blog!
NR = 1. No Reserve. I used a large starting bid and ACTUAL SHIPPING CHARGES.
NR = 2. Needs Restoration.
NR = 3. No Returns. This is junk and I don't want it back.
NR = 4. Not Recommended.
NR = 5. Not Running.
NR = 6. Not Reliable.
NR = 7. Not Real (fake).
NRFB = 1. No Reciprocal FeedBack.
NRFB = 2. No Refunds For Bidders.
NRFB = 3. Newly ReFurBished.
NRFB = 4. Never Removed From Box. Except for when the kids and the dog were playing with it.
NWOT = New with out tags. Not really NEW but I will have a NEW ID by the time you get this.
NWT = 1. Not with tags. Why are tags even important?
NWT = 2. I put the new tags on it myself!
NWT = 3. Nobody Wants This - festering_negs.
OLD = Useless.
VERY OLD = Very useless.
OOAK = ONE OF A KIND 1. I have no idea what this is.
OOAK = ONE OF A KIND 2. Was part of a set but I sold the other one.
OP = 1. Over priced.
OP = 2. Opened Package.
OOP = Out of print, I couldn't find it in the bookstore at the mall.
ORIGINAL CONDITION = Not falling apart too much.
ORIGINAL COPY = It has never been officially released. This is copy of the original I made.
PATINA = Rust or mint like mold.
WONDERFUL PATINA = Deep rust with pits.
PERFECT = I have no idea what this is supposed to look like.
PINK PANTS = With skid marks - No refunds!
PRADA = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.RISQUE = Hardcore porn.
PRETTY = Extra butt-ugly.PRE OWNED = Broken.PRIMITIVE = Unrecognizable.
PRISTINE = I WILL KEEP YOUR PAYMENT & ITEM AND NEG YOU!
RALPH LAUREN = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.RARE = Not able to be found at Wal-Mart or Sears.
VERY RARE = Still available in mail order catalogues.
RECIPROCAL FEEDBACK = You leave feedback first. If you bug me for feedback, I will neg you! RECONDITIONED = Defective and returned to the factory. I bought it real cheap and am now selling it "AS IS".REMOVED FROM A WORKING ENVIRONMENT = It stopped working.
RETIRED = Old and broken.RETRO = I was born in 1990, and my older sister had one of these.
ROLEX = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.ROLX = A GENUINE FAKE ROLEX.S&H = Someone must pay for my time, fees, gas, internet and Starbucks coffee.
SCARCE = Only found for auction right now. Email me if you want more than one.
SIB = Soiled In Box.
SNAD = Significantly Not As Described.
SPECTACULAR = I really need to unload this obvious piece of crap.
STARTS AT 1 CENT!! = S&H is $42. No combined shipping, insurance is extra and I am very quick to neg.
STUNNING = Ouch! You will feel like you were hit by a stun gun when you get this.
SHABBY CHIC = 1. I found this in the trash... oh yeah, I threw it away once.
SHABBY CHIC = 2. pre-Salvation Army in a post-Martha Stewart world.
SHELF PIECE = This is damaged beyond repair.
STRESS/AGE CRACK = Accidentally knocked it off the table and stepped on it while I was taking photos.
TIFFANY = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
TIFANY = Counterfeit, see TIFFANY.
UNBELIEVABLE = In the bad sense.
UNIQUE = Put together from parts last night.
UNUSED = I did not use it. It was broken before I got it.
USED = Broken, but most of the parts are there.
UNUSED BOOK = Read once and highlighted all the boring parts with a black marker.
USED BOOK = Used as a door stop at the cabin for years.
UNUSUAL = Well, I've never seen one before.
VERSACE = see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
VINTAGE = 1. I was born in 1990, and it looks so totally way old to me.
VINTAGE = 2. It has wine colored stains.
VINTAGE = 3. The year it was made. IE: Vintage 2005 = Made in 2005
VUITTON = Counterfeit Louis Vuitton.
WONDERFUL = You'll WONDER where the rest of it is.
WOW = I'm desperate.
WOW!!!!!! = I'm really desperate.100 to 500%
AUTHENTIC = 100 to 500% Fake.

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